Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Farewell to a dear and trusted friend

Dear Bluey,

I don’t know if you saw me last night as I drove off but I was crying. It wasn’t easy to let you go after all that we have been through together.

I remember when you came into my life in October 1997. I knew you were perfect the moment I set eyes on you even though I thought you were more than I needed. We got along well from the outset and you quickly became an integral part of my daily life. You were there through all the pediatrician visits, through the vacations back home, the trips to the vet, the shopping sprees when we carried bags and bags of goodies home. You took it all in stride.

But we really bonded four and a half years ago when my marriage started to crumble. Remember when we went on that driving trip across the States when I was deciding if the marriage could be saved? Remember how excited we were to drive down to Dallas and then over to New Mexico? (I still think the Texas panhandle is some of the most boring driving to be had.) Remember climbing up the mountains when we crossed the border into Colorado? It was the first time either of us had been in the Rockies. I recall the difficulty we had getting up to our friend’s house in the Utah mountains! There was so much snow and we were slipping and sliding…I was so worried about the drive back down the mountain. And then the race back east trying to get home before the mid-year ballet recital, eager to see the little dancers but dreading the confrontation to come because I knew the marriage was over.

I couldn’t have left a miserable marriage if it hadn’t been for you. Without the support and the independence that you encouraged in me, I wouldn’t have been able to stand on my own. You were faithful through the awful year to follow when I lived in a permanent state of fog and you were there when my life started coming back together. You went with me on a couple more trips back home to visit and reconnect with the family the ex- had surreptitiously pushed away during the married years.

But we all get older. You were already two years old when I found you. Back then, gas was cheap. It used to cost $25-$30 to fill your tank up. Now it’s $40-$50. Eight years ago you had 50,000 miles on the odometer. Now you have 150,000. You need new tires, new brake lines, a new blower module, your air conditioning doesn’t work, and there’s a problem with your braking system which causes the brake lights to stay on all the time and drain your battery. You know that you are a luxury vehicle and it never costs less than $400 for the mechanics to even start looking at you. Though it breaks my heat, I couldn’t afford to keep you any longer. And truly, for all your long years of service, you deserve to have a good long rest now.

Thank you, dear Bluey, for all that you have done for me. You won’t be forgotten. Ever.

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